


Melt

by safarikalamari



Series: Spiritassassin Seasons [4]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Confessions, Falling In Love, Fluff, Ice Skating, Light Angst, Lost Love, M/M, Regret, Retirement, Second Chances, Snapshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 03:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safarikalamari/pseuds/safarikalamari
Summary: Chirrut finds comfort in two things: the ice and Baze Malbus





	Melt

**Author's Note:**

> From a seasonal prompt list: "Did you ever expect your life was going to be like this?"
> 
> don't ask me why that's 'seasonal' i do not have a clue my dude

Breathing in the cool air, Chirrut centers himself before he allows the first blade to slide across the ice. Music has already begun coursing through his mind and Chirrut follows the mental beat, smiling just a little at the sounds of his skates on the ice. 

On the rink, Chirrut has always felt at home. The lights are dim, the edges of the rink no longer a clear outline in his vision, but his mind and body are at ease all the same. He knows where to jump, he trusts his feet to land as they should, ending his routine with his same flourish of a stance. 

Singular clapping fills the room and Chirrut grins, skating over to the wall where the noise had come from. 

“Impressed, Malbus?”

“How did you know it was me?”

Chirrut wonders how much Baze’s face has changed since he was last able to see it clearly. It’s been a few years now and he’s sure Baze hasn’t been able to elude time. 

Making out Baze’s hands resting on the wall is a little bit of a challenge as Baze chose to wear similar colors to the layout of the arena, but Chirrut lets his hands fall where they wish. Baze can adjust.

“You’ve never been the most quiet of people when you’ve entered the rink,” Chirrut grins, his hand sweeping just enough across the top of the wall to bump into Baze’s hand.

Baze grumbles something indiscernible, reminding Chirrut of the day they had first met. It wasn’t too unlike now where Chirrut had been practicing and Baze had snuck in. Only, they had been young men, fresh to Nationals and rivals all the same. Chirrut never minded, enjoying the challenge Baze brought along with their teasing friendship. A drunken night after each award ceremony had led to something more, but all was kept secret until the two went their separate ways. 

Now, their meetings were cut down to a handful of times a year and Chirrut admits he misses having Baze close at one time.

“Why don’t you come on the ice and show me what you’ve still got?” Chirrut clears the air, not wanting to get emotional over chances spent.

“What, now?” Baze sounds nervous, his voice pitching down and Chirrut tugs at Baze’s wrist.

He gives Baze his best pleading face, knowing he’s won when Baze groans.

“Fine. But don’t expect too much. My knee’s been killing me lately.”

Chirrut’s grin falters just a little at this and he curses himself for being so pushy. Both he and Baze lost their skating careers one way or another and Chirrut is sure the wound is just as open for Baze as it is for him.

He had been there, cheering on Baze when he was no longer allowed to compete. His eyes weren’t completely shot and he had almost wished they were when Baze came crashing down. 

Even now, he amongst other skaters and coaches had no explanation as to what happened, Baze remaining mute on the subject ever since. 

“Hey,” Baze’s voice pulls Chirrut back from his memories. “It’s okay, Chirrut. I just meant it as a comment.”

With a sniff, Chirrut nods his head, but it doesn’t make the guilt go away. 

“I’m here,” Baze says and Chirrut jumps at the realization that Baze somehow got onto the ice while he was lost in his mind. “How do you want me to do this?”

“I’m not blind yet,” Chirrut throws his own jab onto the ice, his smile slowly coming back. “Just stay close?”

With a quiet, “Okay,” Baze skates back to warm up a bit and Chirrut relishes at the sounds in the arena. Baze’s blade is harsher, more speed, leaving Chirrut to wonder if Baze is getting ready for a race rather than a routine. 

It’s never changed. When they were compared with each other at Nationals, Baze was praised for his grounded footwork while Chirrut was known for his seamless transitions. Even now, he can hear it. Sense how Baze turns and cuts. 

“Amazing,” Chirrut breathes when Baze has made it back to him.

“That was just warm up, Chirrut.”

Chirrut laughs, the sound ringing in the arena and he just barely makes out Baze’s huff of a laugh.

“Even so. I’ve always admired your skating.”

Baze doesn’t respond, but Chirrut doesn’t need one. He motions for Baze to start, but his hands are grabbed and Chirrut’s sure footing on the ice hesitates in that moment. 

“Just follow my lead,” Baze murmurs, his thumbs rubbing the tops of Chirrut’s hands.

“Baze, what-” 

Chirrut doesn’t have much time to think, his feet rushing to glide in time with Baze’s as he’s pulled along on the ice. When Baze’s hands lift and turn just a little, Chirrut follows with a small spin before he reaches out towards Baze. 

Baze’s fingers intertwine with his own and Chirrut continues to skate forward as Baze faces him, the rink well memorized in both their minds. A few more small spins and tricks, the two finish in the center of the rink, just a little out of breath. Each have an arm wrapped around the other’s waist and Chirrut swallows down the lump in his throat. 

“What happened to us, Baze? Did you ever expect your life was going to be like this?”

Hearing Baze’s breathing and nothing more is almost torture to Chirrut. His mind screams at lost time, regrets. They’re old men now, he’s not sure what can be changed.

“Life grabbed us and we just ran,” Baze’s voice is low and Chirrut freezes as Baze’s face comes closer. 

He tenses when their foreheads touch, but Chirrut doesn’t plan to run away this time. 

“I was foolish. Hot-headed. Sometimes, I’m glad I had the injury. It brought so much to light.”

Chirrut’s breath is shaky and his other hand comes up, fingers tracing along the fabric of Baze’s shirt.

“I can’t say what it’s been like for you, but I wish I could’ve told you everything I’m about to tell you now. I want you in my life always, Chirrut. Not just what we’ve had on the ice, but beyond that. I want to show you so much and I’m sorry I always ran away from what we could have been.”

Chirrut wanted to tear his heart out with how much it hurts, having wished all the same things at one time or another. It wasn’t completely hopeless, Chirrut knew that, but it didn’t stop the pain in his chest. 

“Oh, Baze,” Chirrut sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m sorry too.”

When Baze’s hand cups his face, Chirrut instinctively leans into the touch, his body tensing and relaxing all at once. If this had been said any sooner by either of them, Chirrut wonders if the reaction would’ve been different. In this moment, Chirrut just wants Baze, wishing he had set some of his own pride and guilt to the side years earlier.

“It might sound ridiculous, but I’ve loved you for years, Chirrut. Seeing you on the ice, your determination, you’ve always been my inspiration,” Baze seems to be running out of breath and Chirrut laughs just a little.

“Are you proposing to me, Baze? We haven’t even had a proper date.”

Baze inhales sharply and Chirrut opens his eyes, wishing just this once his sight was clear. As Baze stutters over his words, Chirrut hugs Baze close just to feel the rise and fall of his chest. 

“Yes, Baze. I would have you. Even if our conversations have dwindled over the years, I don’t think we’ve changed too much, save for…” Chirrut pulls back, leaning in just enough to make out the frown on Baze’s face.

“Maybe date first,” Baze mumbles and Chirrut’s face breaks out into a smile. 

“Did I ever tell you this was one of my dreams? To be asked out on the ice?” 

“Oh my god.”

Chirrut throws his head back when he laughs, his body starting to relax when he feels the rumble of Baze’s laughter build up. Despite the years of troubles, Chirrut can forgive all that’s happened because in this moment he has Baze in his arms and that’s worth more than a lifetime on the ice.

**Author's Note:**

> if my brain wasn't being such a turd, i'd expand more on this universe sigh
> 
> [Tumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


End file.
